The above image shows how our mind processes information. When an external event occurs in our life our mind will delete, generalise and distort the information based on our filters; things such as memories, values, beliefs and attitudes. This filtering then creates an internal representation of the event that affects our state (how we feel), which affects our physiology (how our body reacts) and then this affects our outer behaviour (what we do).
As an example, imagine you’re watching a movie with your child, or a friend, although you’re watching the same movie you will both have a different interpretation of it based on your filters. One of you may think it’s the most heartwarming thing you’ve ever seen, probably because it touches on precious memories or is in alignment with your values and beliefs. This will affect your state, making you feel emotional, which in turn can affect your physiology, perhaps it makes you cry or your heart ache, and then it will have an impact on your behaviour, perhaps the sentiment gets you to reach out to people you love or get the photo album out to look back on memories.
Your child, or friend, who has different filters, will have a totally different response because their internal representation was different. If they’re anything like my kids they will be looking at you at the end of the movie waiting for the tears, they think it’s hilarious that I cry at everything, even comedies!
Why is this information important?
One of my main roles as an Empowerment Coach is to get my clients to look at their belief system and begin to shift the beliefs that are limiting their potential. We literally filter our entire life through our beliefs, and if some of these beliefs aren’t true, then we’re behaving in ways that aren’t true to who we are and are limiting who we can become.
Before I give an example, one thing you should know is that our core beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world, are formed in the first 7 years of life, before we’re consciously able to filter the information. Therefore we can have subconscious beliefs that are running our life and be completely unaware of them, this is fine if these beliefs are positive, sadly however, many of them are not.
These beliefs are known as limiting beliefs because they limit us and our potential in some way, these are the subconscious beliefs that hold us back from achieving our dreams, going for that promotion, finding love, creating wealth, feeling healthy and all manner of things.
Finding and releasing these limiting beliefs is essential for us to thrive, which is why it’s a huge part of the work I do with Mums, to help them discover and release these beliefs, and making them aware of them so they can raise their children consciously, whilst hopefully reducing the number of limiting beliefs our children inherit from us.
A Core Limiting Belief:
There are a number of core limiting beliefs that are common and can be passed down from generation to generation, one such belief is I don’t matter.
Let’s say you come from a large family and it was hard for your mother to cater for your every need, it might have felt like everyone else got what they needed but because you were quiet and the proverbial ‘good girl’ you didn’t speak up and your needs went unmet. Over time as your needs go unmet you begin to believe that your needs don’t matter and therefore you don’t matter, this then becomes a filter and every event in your life passes through it. As you grow up you develop self-sacrificing behaviour because ‘you don’t matter’. You do things to please others because you don’t matter. When you have kids of your own you put all of their needs first and run the risk of burning out because your needs consistently go unmet because deep down you believe you don’t matter. It doesn’t matter what your conscious mind tries to tell you, your subconscious mind is 95% more powerful and runs the show.
Can you see how this belief filters your experience and affects your behaviour? And this is just one of many core limiting beliefs that can affect our life. We can hold limiting beliefs about ourselves, others and the world, and they all play a part in how we process information and behave in the world.
Once you’ve discovered these limiting beliefs you now have the benefit of rational thought and can change them. A belief is simply a thought that you thought many times until it became a belief. It was a decision you made and now with your conscious mind intact (this only begins to develop after 7 years old) you can change it. However, some of these core limiting beliefs can be hard to shift, we may have had 3 or 4 decades believing it, we therefore have many memories and stories that reinforce it, these tell us that it is ‘true’ but it’s not. It can take a bit of work but with persistence you can shift these beliefs.
I have a powerful process that I use with clients to help them discover and shift their own beliefs quickly. As a coach I am limited to the number of women I can work with so I incorporate belief release work into my courses so women are empowered to do this inner work for themselves without needing me to facilitate the process. I have released some deep core limiting beliefs and felt the powerful effect it has and I love being able to help others to do the same!
As a certified Parent Coach I can see how our upbringing created these beliefs and it’s why i’m so passionate about helping Mums support their children’s feelings and needs so we can lesson the impact of these limiting beliefs and raise a more empowered, and authentic, generation, one that doesn’t have to ‘fix’ themselves.
This isn’t about being a perfect parent though, far from it, our generation is the bridge, we’re doing the inner work whilst simultaneously raising conscious kids, it takes a lot of hard work and we’ll get it wrong plenty of times but, as we do the inner work to release our own limiting beliefs, we’ll automatically create that shift in our family line.
When we let go of the belief that ‘I don’t matter’ and start honouring our own feelings and needs, we’ll be more available for our children’s feelings and needs, therefore they won’t develop the belief and we’ve successfully eradicated it from our family line. We’ll know, and our children will know, that I matter, and this is a powerful belief to filter all life experiences through.
I am deeply passionate about helping women, especially Mums, to heal their past so they can step into their full potential, and one of the most powerful ways to do that is through releasing our limiting beliefs. That’s why i’ve decided to create 3 special offers for the black friday/cyber monday weekend, I don’t usually jump on the bandwagon with things like this, however I realised I am doing a disservice to the Mums that I can help with my work by not giving this opportunity to do this powerful work at a discounted price. So below I am sharing 3 offers that I have available until Monday 29th November that will help you on your own inner journey as well as in your parenting, so you can raise empowered kids with positive beliefs. Take a look below: